If A Song Could Say It All
by Autumness
Summary: A series of oneshots/ficlets based on various songs. Various pairings/ individual characters.
1. Mad World

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, or the song.

Author's note:

:3 I got this song stuck in my head for the whole day. Apparently, writing it out as a story managed to clear my head. Enjoy!

~*~

Chapter 1 – Mad World

Mad World – Adam Lambert

_The dreams in which I'm dying  
Are the best I ever had  
I find it hard to tell you  
I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles  
It's a very very,  
Mad world, Mad world_

If Patrick Jane would say anything about his dreams, he would say that they were mostly all nightmares. Every night, his dreams would repeat. The long drive home from work that night, the climb up the stairs. The satisfaction he had felt for being successful for the night. He couldn't wait to scoop his precious daughter up and cuddle her to sleep. He wanted to hold his wife, dance with her under the moonlight, kiss her till the sun rose. He loved – still loves– them both dearly. Smiling, he was smiling as he walked towards the door of his bedroom. He could still feel the dread that filled him when he had seen the note stuck on the wooden surface of the door. Sometimes, if he was lucky, something or someone would wake him up before he reached out for the door knob. Most of the time, however, he could never escape from the sight of the red painted smiling face that marked Red John, mocking him from the white wall over where his broken wife and daughter laid.

The worst dreams he had were those with his family still alive. Those times of happiness: the first time he had set eyes on his wife across the large dining room of his sponsor; the day she walked down the aisle in a flowing dress of white; the first time they made love in the light, only illuminated by the light of the full moon; the arrival of their daughter; the first birthday of their daughter; the day they had moved into the new house at Malibu; the times they ran around the beach during the summer. He hated those dreams, simply because they reminded him of what he had and would still have if he had not been so arrogant. If he had those dreams, he never wanted to wake up. Because waking up meant returning to the reality where he was alone.

He loved the dreams where he would die. If he died, it would be after or during the course where Red John was lying on the ground, abdomen split open. He would die happy then. All would be well, he would have found salvation. He could die in peace, knowing that he had finally reached his goal. Everything would have come to an end; he could finally go to his wife and daughter in Heaven. If he could go to Heaven, that is.

It was too bad he never said anything about his dreams to anyone. Not like anyone in the CBI unit cared anyway. They didn't talk about their personal lives; Lisbon had made that clear from Day 1. But if he could tell anyone, it would be Lisbon. She would care; at least, he thought she would. They had the same aim in life. To catch the 'bad people'. Her methods were so much more…legal than his, but they still had the same motive.

Maybe she would listen, if he was willing to share. Maybe he would tell her one day, when he couldn't keep it in anymore. He would pour out all his secrets and memories to her, if she would listen. There were already too many mad people in the world, and he wasn't ready to join them just yet.


	2. Stand Still, Look Pretty

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, or the song.

Author's note:

Van Pelt's past is a mystery, so I decided to make it up myself. Slight implying of rape though. Do leave a review! Hope you enjoy this one. Thank you! :D

* * *

Chapter 2 – Stand Still, Look Pretty

Stand Still, Look Pretty – The Wreckers

_I am slowly falling apart_

_I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start_

_You might think it's easy being me_

_You just stand still, look pretty_

Sometimes, Van Pelt hated the fact that she was a beautiful person. She didn't blame anyone for it, not her parents and surely not God. Sure, being beautiful had its advantages. You got the better prices and better goods whenever you could. A quick smile and batting of eyelashes would get her what she wanted, be it help or some quick excuse. She enjoyed her beauty, but she didn't exactly love it.

She was a beautiful baby, her parents loved to say. The prettiest baby ever in Iowa. When she was a young girl, the adults would praise her. The boys in school would give her handpicked flowers, and the girls either hated her or decided to be her best friend. She got chosen for various things. Like the lead role of Juliet in their school play, even thought she wasn't great at acting; she got into the school choir, even if the other little girls were so much better than she was. At first she was delighted at getting all these positions at the other girls longed for, not knowing why she had gotten them in the first place, but she had overheard her 'friends' talking. That day, she ran home and cried. Her mother held onto her while her father tried to find things to calm her down. From that instant, she didn't want to be the prettiest girl anymore.

In high school and college, she was expected to be with the popular girls. Boys were more direct with her then, expressing their feelings often, betting against each other on who would get her attention. She pushed them all aside, the expectation, the boys and helped her father out with football coaching. She was a smart girl and didn't need to worry about her grades. She wanted to prove that she wasn't just a pretty face, she had substance. She wanted to show the world. Soon, the football team became her brothers. They looked out for her, making sure she didn't get hurt. After the team won state champions, the celebration party was wild. Alcohol, loud music, dancing and cheers. No one saw her being pulled away, no one heard her scream. No one came to look for her.

Her sobbing led her father to her; he held her in his arms, his jacket tucked around her. Only he believed her when she said it was someone from the team who did this to her. The rest of her 'brothers' looked at her with disbelief and disgust. They abandoned her after all these years, no one could accuse another teammate, even the coach's daughter. Her father had banned her from football practices after that. The guy was never arrested and she lived in fear for months.

Her choice to go into law enforcement seemed natural to her parents after what they called 'the incident'. The training was tough, but her passion pushed her on. She shined and her request to be sent to the CBI had been approved. After her first day, She loved the team. Lisbon inspired her. Her boss was a tough woman, just who she wanted to be. Rigsby and Cho were helpful; more Rigsby than Cho though. They were going to be close friends soon, she could tell. Jane made their work more light hearted than usual, with his jokes and many tricks. But when Jane made that comment on her past, she disliked him a little. No one should know about it. That wasn't who she wanted to be reminded off, the beautiful girl who was too weak to stand up for herself.


	3. My Immortal

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, or the song.

Author's note:

The first Jello/ Jisbon of this series. It's a friendship/comfort oneshot. :D I hope you enjoy it. Do leave a review, thank you!

~*~

Chapter 3 – My Immortal

My Immortal – Evanescence

_When you'd cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears,_

_When you'd scream, I'd, fight away all of your fears._

_And I've held your hand through all of these years,_

_But you still have all of me._

Since she was young, she was used to holding on to her brothers whenever they cried. It used to be her mother's duty; but ever since she was gone, Teresa took over. They cried over everything: toys, football practices, food and attention. They had a record for crying on a daily basis, but on the day of the funeral neither one shed a tear. Instead, they held onto her while she cried her heart out.

So it came naturally to her to envelop Patrick Jane in her arms when he stood at her doorstep, dripping wet. He was drenched, to put it simply. His clothes were sticking to his skin, his blonde curls stuck to his skull and looked dull. With the water dripping down his face, it was impossible to tell if the water droplets were raindrops or tears. She pulled him in and helped him out off his jacket, which ended up in a heap beside her door.

Sitting him down at the dining table, she hurried off to get him a towel and something warm to wear. She returned with a warm fluffy towel and her brother's old pajamas which she handed to Jane. He slumped off to her washroom to dry up and change out of his wet clothes, dripping water all over her wooden floorboards. They were going to leave a mark. She went to the kitchen, got out her kettle and boiled some water. A teacup waited to be filled. A loud thud had her rushing to the bathroom and flinging the unlocked door open. Jane just sat on the ground, half dressed and in a daze.

Forgetting about the boiling water, she helped him into the t-shirt, led him to her room and tucked him in. All he needed now was to sleep. Sleep it all off. She cleaned up the remaining water from all her surfaces, took Jane's wet clothes to dry and sat down, sipping a cup of tea. She had no idea what to do. It wasn't the first time this happened, in fact it happened every year. On the same day, he would either appeared at her doorstep drunk or somehow in a daze. She would bring him in and let him sleep the day away. Every year, he would wake up screaming. From experience, she learnt to leave him alone. She could stay with him for the day, but he had to face his nightmares alone.

By the time he woke up, his clothes were dry and folded, placed at the foot of Lisbon's bed. He got dressed and found a warm cup of tea and a plate of sandwiches sitting on the dining table. Next to them was a note stating that she had gone out for grocery shopping. She was never there when he woke up, and he was grateful for that. The fact that he let her see him when he was broken and weak made him angry. He finished his meal and washed the dishes. Shutting the door behind him, he headed home.

The next day at work, it was as though nothing had happened. He still went about irritating anyone he could, and she spent most of her time lecturing him. But it was present in her eyes; that concern, that sympathy for him. He brushed it off, he didn't need her sympathies or concern. Not when he only turned to her because he had no one else.


	4. Three Wishes

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, or the song.

Author's note:

A little about Lisbon, because she's one of my favourite characters. A little glimpse into her past, made up some parts though, and a little Jisbon fluff in the end. :3 Hope you enjoy this chapter. Do leave a review! Thanks.

~*~

Chapter 4 – Three Wishes

Three Wishes – The Pierces

_And you want three wishes:_

_One to fly the heavens_

_One to swim like fishes_

_And then one you're saving for a rainy day_

_If your lover ever takes her love away_

She was never always 'Lisbon'. Being the tough cop was the later and more stable part of her life. It wasn't easy, she would agree to that. The sight of death almost everyday would be able to make anyone want to stay in bed and not go into work. Not her though. The victims needed her to solve their unjustified murder. She needed to solve each mystery. Each and every one that fell into her hands. Only then would she feel useful.

When she was young, she was 'Tessie'. Her parents would pick her up and swing her around. To her, flying was one of the best experiences she had. The feeling of air blowing through her hair, the lightness she felt, she loved it when her father carried her. She was her father's favourite. "Tessie," he would say "You're going to grow up to be a famous dancer. You're going to change the world." Her parents had enrolled her in ballet. Her mother had loved ballet, so it was her favourite too. Whatever her mother loved, so did she. Her parents would introduce her as 'Tessie the ballerina' to their friends and family, even though she barely started her lessons.

She became 'Terrie' when her brothers were born. With a five and seven year gap between her and her two younger brothers, they had fun trying to pronounce their sister's name when they were toddlers. 'Terrie' was as close as they could get. They would follow her around, trying to get her to play with them when she had to practice for her upcoming ballet performance. Her mother would lure them away with incentives of ice cream and sugar filled cookies. Her brothers would cheer loudly at every one of her performances. Their sister was on stage, and they wanted her to know that they were there. Her parents would struggle to silence them while trying to hide their smiles. They loved their children. 'Terrie' was the best part of her life.

She took up the role of 'Teresa' after her father became a pathetic drunk. She was the one who settled the issue about her mother's funeral. She took care of her brothers, sending them to school, ensuring they had food, making sure they weren't in trouble and supervised them while they got their school work done. She dropped out from ballet, she couldn't take it. It reminded her too much of her mother. She worked part time at various places, earning money to support her father's growing alcoholism and her brothers. All her father did was scream and shout at them, occasionally hitting them around. The father who hugged his children and carried them around was gone. Instead, he was either violent, or didn't care for them at all.

After she joined the police force, she was 'Lisbon'. No more girly mentions of her first name. No more painful memories of her past would be able to enter her mind while she was 'Lisbon'. She rose up the ranks quickly and got transferred to the CBI. Her hard work paid off and now she got her own team. She got the respect from her team, she got the best of each one of her agents. And however irritating her consultant could be, he gave her his best too. But as years passed and Jane became more optimistic, he stopped calling her 'Lisbon'. Instead he would address her by her given name. "Teresa," he would say, "One day, you'll marry me."

When that day came, she stood proudly, in a gown of white, wedding ring on her finger. Next to her was Patrick Jane with a glowing smile on his face. She wasn't 'Lisbon' anymore, she wasn't anything from her past. She took on the name of 'Jane' professionally. In private, Patrick would call her 'Teresa' in his gentle soothing voice as she told him about her day at work. He had left the CBI. At first, she was puzzled and asked him why he left after they got married, and he told her that it would be a nightmare if there were going to be two 'Jane's in the office. She continued staring at him, waiting for him to seriously answer her. He pulled her to him, holding onto her and playing with her fingers. He told her that now that he had her, he didn't want anything else.


	5. Lost Without You

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, or the song.

Author's note:

This is another Jisbon fic. [I kind of prefer calling them Jello. D: ] A sad one though, after Jane finally got to Red John.

~*~

Chapter 5 – Lost Without You

Lost Without You – Delta Goodrem

_If we ever say we'll never be together_

_And we ended with goodbye_

_Don't know what I'd do..._

_I'm lost without you_

He was gone. He was gone and never coming back, no matter how much she pleaded, no matter how much she begged. There was no way Patrick Jane would see the sun again. It took a lot of persuading from her team to come, she wasn't ready to see the blonde in a dull gray jumpsuit. If he would see her, that is. He refused to see anyone even if they just kept coming. She refused to see him after he got into prison. And yet here she was, waiting for the wardens to get back to her with Jane's response to her visit.

After she had handcuffed their consultant, she handed him over to Cho. She just couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye. He would have guilt in his eyes, she knew. He broke his promise to her, he went after Red John. And if he was going to seek forgiveness from her this time, she wouldn't give in. The crime scene was badly lit, she ordered the lights to be switched on. And when they were, she wished it were dark again. The sight of Red John's body being sliced open from neck to abdomen had her gagging and reeling backwards.

The interrogation was torturing. If it could be called an interrogation, that is. He kept avoiding her questions, replying with shrugs or smiles. She didn't want to be here, couldn't he see that? Minelli thought Jane would be straight with her, seeing as she was the only one he actually looked up to. He was never going to say anything to her, and her patience was wearing thin. When Jane reached out to wipe away a stray tear from her cheek, she snapped. Pushing his hand away, she stood up and left the room without looking back. Cho and Rigsby stepped in. they got a solid confession in less than ten minutes.

In the next few months without their smiling and rule-breaking consultant, the team lost their record of closing the most cases in the Serious Crimes Unit. Lisbon spent most of her time locked in her office and while handling cases; she was bitter and overworked herself. Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt weren't used to this new Lisbon. She was falling apart and she didn't know. She was pale and her face was sunken, it had been ages since she last smiled or laughed. The last time she had a smile on her face was the day Jane had sneaked out of the CBI to chase down Red John, that morning he had given Lisbon a bunch of daffodils which he had picked from outside the building.

She had started making mistakes regarding cases and had nearly gotten suspended. Van Pelt took the initiative to talk to Lisbon. She felt that her boss had to go see Jane, whatever that could make her go back to normal.

"He's suffering, Boss. Prison life isn't for him," when Lisbon didn't look up from her reports, Van Pelt continued, "the guards said that he got beaten up again and that he's skipping meals. He refuses to see us, but he'll see you. Boss, Lisbon… Please, go see him."

Finally looking up from the papers on her desk, Lisbon stared at the redhead in front of her desk. "Are you done? Get back to work."

The door opened and she stopped herself from looking up as Patrick Jane entered the room and sat across her. They sat in silence when she glanced up. He lost a lot of weight, and his face was bandaged. His eyes had lost its shine and his hair was dull. He looked like an empty shell. Hesitating, she reached out and touched his bandage, eyes full of sorrow.

"Does it hurt?" He shook his head. Just as she was about to pull her hand away, he grabbed her hand and held it in place. They stared at each other again. She wanted to leave, she wanted to get out. But seeing Jane like this, all sad and broken, it kept her by his side.

Shutting his eyes, he leaned into her palm. It was so long since he had seen her, so long since he touched her. He missed the team, he missed her. He wasn't regretting what he had done, he needed to kill Red John, but he wondered if he could have accepted Red John being locking in a prison cell just like his. Then he could be free. Free to do whatever he wanted, free to love whoever he wanted. They stayed in this position, neither one moving.


	6. Ghost Of Me

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, or the song.

Author's note:

We're now on Chapter 6! It's a sad fic ahead. Jello, it's a sad one. D: I nearly cried writing it. I hope you enjoy it! Please do leave a review, thank you!

~*~

Chapter 6 – Ghost Of Me

Ghost Of Me – Daughtry

_Don't look over your shoulder_

_'Cause that's just the ghost of me you're seein' in your dreams_

_Wait, there's no rhyme or reason_

_Sometimes there's no meanin' in the visions when you're sleepin'_

How long has it been since she last saw him? Weeks? Months? Years? A glance at her calendar told her it was just shy of a year and a half. Sometimes, it felt like it was just days ago. Just days since… _No. Don't think about it. Not now. _She took a couple of deep breaths before opening her eyes and continuing to type her report. She had work to do and thinking of the fact that Jane was no longer here would just slow her down. _Shit. I said don't think about it._ She grabbed a fistful of tissues and pressed her face into them. She would rather look like an idiot than show anyone that she was crying.

Flashes of memories came back quickly. The dark room where she stood with her gun aimed at the man called Red John. Jane was in front of her, armed with one of Lisbon's guns, which he had stolen. Red john just laughed, pointing the gun at the blonde. No one moved. In an instant, Red John changed his target and aimed at her instead knowing Jane would be safe now, she fired.

It was a good shot, she recalled. Except it hit the wrong person. Patrick Jane had thrown himself at her, thinking that she was being shot at. And then he was lying on the ground. She shot at the series killer again, and got the gun off him. Pulling out her phone, she speed dialed Cho and requested for back up. She knelt beside Jane, holding his hand. His eyes were becoming dull, that ever-present twinkle of mischief was slowly being drained out of him, his breath became shallow. All she could do was to tell him to hold on. "_Just hold on, you'll be fine,_" she said.

Just before the last of his life escaped him, she pressed her lips to his and whispered 'I love you' into his ear. When the team arrived, she was holding onto the limp body of they blonde consultant. Tears running down her face and repeating the same words over and over. "I'm sorry." The unconscious body of the serial killer behind them both, Cho and Rigsby took over from there. Van Pelt stood with her boss until the EMTs took Jane's body away and held her hand while Lisbon was being checked over for injuries.

Medical reports revealed that she was pregnant, but the baby didn't make it. The team was shocked to hear this news, but they never asked Lisbon for confirmation. When they came over to visit, she told her team everything. The stolen kisses, the dancing on the beach, the short weekends away, the private engagement, and the half-planned wedding. Van Pelt held on to her as she broke down. The team stayed by her side through the funeral and the burial. Jane was really gone, and their boss could very well go along with him if they didn't pay attention to her.

Now Red John was in prison, he deserved it. It was because of him that Jane was dead. She had spent months in therapy and was finally allowed back to work a few weeks before. Around their apartment, she could hear his laughter when she prepared dinner. When she slept, she would feel him lying next to her, She would dream of the sunshine, the beaches and him. On her way to work, she could imagine him sitting beside her, telling her all sorts of random trivia and jokes. She could picture him right now on his couch, smiling at her_. He is gone, he is gone. All you're seeing now is a ghost._ Swallowing her tears, she wiped her face clean and threw the tissues away before returning back to work. If anything mattered now, it was getting well again and work was the only solution.


	7. No Air

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, or the song.

Author's note:

Chapter 7. It's a Rigsby/Van Pelt fic! :D They're quite cute a couple, I feel. XD Hope you enjoy this one! Do leave a review! Thanks!

~*~

Chapter 7 – No Air

No Air – Jordin Sparks featuring Chris Brown

_But how do you expect me_

_To live alone with just me_

_'Cause my world revolves around you_

_It's so hard for me to breathe_

The first time he set eyes on her, he couldn't think of anything else but 'She's gorgeous. Wait, what's more gorgeous than gorgeous?' She looked around confused until Lisbon stepped out of her office and greeted the redhead. After shaking her hand and a few words, Lisbon brought the new comer into her office.

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, he turned to Cho and asked "What's more gorgeous than gorgeous, Cho?" If anyone would know, it would be Jane or Cho. But Jane was on suspension, so he looked hopefully at his teammate who stared blankly at him. Silently sighing, he went back to reading his report when Cho suddenly spoke up. "Enchanting."

She took his breath away. He wasn't the only one who noticed Van Pelt's beauty, but he was the one who was closest to her and he was proud of it. Sure, there were some awkward moments and all, but it was worth it. Cho and Jane tried to persuade him to make the first move, but he refused. There were rules and he was going to abide to them. He didn't want to risk his career or hers for a relationship.

Van Pelt liked Rigsby enough to tell herself to not like him. At least, not now. Not while she was still the rookie of the team. Not while they were still on the same team. And it was against the rules to have a relationship with a fellow teammate. She wanted to stay with the Serious Crimes Unit and on Lisbon's team. It was difficult after she found out that he was seriously in love with her. That memory would come surfacing out at the most random moments, not very appropriate moments.

He didn't like her only for her looks. She was intelligent, hard working and knew what she wanted. She was a beautiful woman with a good character, he liked that. She didn't see him as only the team's occasional joker with a black hole for a stomach. She saw him deeper than what he portrayed. He was a kind and caring man, a heart of gold with a protective streak. Perfect boyfriend material, her mother would be pleased. It was just too bad they couldn't get together anytime in near future, no matter how much they wanted to.

So they settled for secret glances across the bullpen. Occasionally getting each other treats of coffee or muffins. Sometimes, they would go out for dinner or drinks, maybe a nice long walk. It never occurred to them to ask anyone else along, it was comfortable with just two of them. Imagine if Jane or Lisbon were there, there was no way either of them would be able to relax. If they were ever questioned about their little meetings, they would say it wasn't a date. It was just two friends, with strong feelings for each other but couldn't be together, meeting up.


	8. Goodbye

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, or the song.

Author's note:

Finally, a Cho background story! :3 I have no idea what happened that caused him to go into juvie. And it's really interesting to me. :D Enjoy! Do leave a review! Thank you.

~*~

Chapter 8 – Goodbye

Goodbye - Kristinia DeBarge

_We're singin' it, sing!  
Na na na na,hey na na na na hey  
Hey hey hey  
Goodbye  
Na na na na, na na na na  
Hey hey hey  
Goodbye_

Cho was comfortable about the fact that he had been in juvie before. He was willing to share, if anyone asked. Lisbon knew he had been in juvie, she had read his file before he joined her team. She was through and needed to know everything about her new team member, that was her nature. But it wasn't her nature to ask for the reason why he got into juvie in the first place. She felt that their personal lives should never even if they weren't on duty. Jane knew, he knew everything. So it would be no surprise that Jane knew about him spending time in juvie. Jane didn't have to ask anything, he would just figure it out himself. Most probably had a whole list of reasons on how he had gotten into juvie already, anyway. Rigsby and Van Pelt wouldn't know until he told them. They would never have the guts to read his file. Anyone's file, actually. Since it was against regulations.

Juvie was one part of his life he was thankful for. It made him think about what the hell he had been doing with his life up till then. His father had passed away at the age of 43 from lung cancer. Smoking at least a pack of cigarettes would do that to you. His mother couldn't handle the loss of her husband and spent most of her time weeping and mourning his father's death. He was upset too, he loved his father a lot. He had spent most of his time with his father, helping out at the store, learning how to be a proper businessman. He was going to take over the family business one day, he was a smart boy and good at handling money. All those dreams shattered when his father had died.

Started hanging out late at night, he didn't want to go home. Back to where his mother was almost like an empty shell. He wasn't very close to his mother, anyway. His father was the glue that kept the family together. There was nothing for him at home. His mother had stopped cooking, stopped doing the laundry. Stopped doing anything. He picked up smoking too, it let him cope with his falling grades and the fact that he was being neglected. Too much free time on his hands, loitered around. Met up with a couple of his classmates who recruited him into a gang. There, he had a family, he had people who cared for him. That was all he ever wanted.

He dropped out of school. Spent all his time on the street with his 'brothers'. Got into a lot of fights. That wasn't anything big. He stole, he participated in riots, he vandalized. He did a lot of bad things and never got caught. He had his 'brothers' who looked out for him, they worked under a notorious loan shark. Or in his own terms an uncertified human Automated teller machine. He and his buddies helped out with harassing those who didn't pay up. One day, while roughing this couple up, the police arrived. He wasn't a fast runner, but at least he tried to run. When they brought him in, he realized that he was alone. The people he called his 'brothers' had abandoned him, left him to the wolves. He was all alone again.

He served his time. Kept his head down, didn't do much. Obeyed the officers, completed his daily tasks, learnt what he had to. He got his sentence lightened for his good conduct. He had no status in juvie. No identity. No name. He had a series of numbers though. The officers would call him by the numbers printed on his dull grey T-shirt. He was lucky enough he remembered his name at the end of his time served.

He stayed in there for slightly more than two years. His mother came to visit frequently, but he never went out to see her. He didn't want to see her, afraid of the shame he might see on her face. He never wanted to disappoint her, he just wanted her attention. When he got out, he was surprised to see her waiting for him. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her there, wringing her wrists. She looked small and frail against the sunlight that shined through the opened door. When she caught sight of him, her eyes brightened up and started to fill with tears. The urge to run away from her died down and he walked towards her, allowing her to embrace him. It was only when he stepped into his old bedroom did he realize that he had missed her.

He became the filial son he was today, making sure his mother was well taken care of and visiting her on every holiday there was although he was pestered every time about settling down and having a family. His pay wasn't much at the CBI, but he always kept a sum aside for her. She was supportive of him joining the police force, his grandfather was a cop too. After graduating from the academy and putting in 8 years with the local police department, he got recruited into the CBI. There, he met Lisbon. They stuck together in the same team for a long time. Soon they were joined by Jane, Rigsby and the newcomer Van Pelt. They became Lisbon's team and kicked ass in the CBI unit with their high case solving rate.

As he flipped through another page of his current book, he observed Rigsby asking the consultant if he knew the reason behind his juvie stint. Jane glanced at him and shrugged.

"You'll be better off asking Cho yourself, Rigsby."

Rigsby snuck a look at him before shaking his head and going back to his desk to get some work done. Lisbon was in a pisser of moods, thanks to the blonde who was lazing on his couch, and wanted every single paperwork needed to be completed all cleared by today.

Smirking, he turned to Rigsby. "I kill a man, Rigsby. With nothing but chopsticks."

At first Rigsby looked confused, but realization dawned on him. "You aren't serious, are you?" There was a trace of fear in his voice. Cho just stared at him. "I mean, come on. Killing with chopsticks?" Jane was looking at them too, serious look on his face.

"If you want, I can demonstrate. I may be a little rusty though." The fear and shock on Rigsby's face had him resisting a laugh as he turned back to his own desk. He could kill a man with chopsticks, it would just take him some time.


	9. Learn My Lesson

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, or the song.

Author's note:

:D Presenting Chapter 9! the longest one yet! It's a Jane/Lisbon, Jello, Jisbon fic. xD Call it what you please, please. Not exactly a very sweet fluffy fic though. In fact, it's kind of dark & twisty. I wonder if I can write fluff though. D: Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! :D Do leave a review! Thank you!

~*~

Chapter 9 – Learn My Lesson

Learn My Lesson - Daughtry

_You'd think that I'd learn the cost of love  
And paid that price long enough  
But still I drive myself right through the pain  
Well it turns out  
I haven't learned a thing_

He should have known. Known that he didn't deserve happiness. Didn't deserve a second chance at love. And yet every time he looked at her, he just couldn't look away. It was tempting, very tempting, to reach out and pull her towards him. To hold her close, to smell the lingering scent of shampoo in her hair. He wanted to; god knew how much he wanted her. When he reached out towards her, the sunlight would reflect of his gold wedding band. He would feel the weight of it on his finger, the weight of guilt in his heart. He remembered the promise he made to his wife to love her forever, until the day he died. He was keeping his promise. He still loved his wife, and yet he was in love with Teresa Lisbon at the same time.

It took him months to coax himself into accepting the fact that he had feelings for the petite woman who was currently sitting in her office, chewing on her pen cap. A couple more weeks to sort his emotions out, a few days to work up the courage to actually ask her out to dinner. And when he did, she just stared at him with her jaw dropped. He made a witty remark, which caused her to throw her pen at him. He left her office without an answer.

Right before end of shift, she stood next to couch and said, "Pick me up at 7.30 p.m. If you're late, you can spend your night chatting up a lamppost."

He grinned as she walked away and closed his eyes, she had such a way with words. Rigsby groaned as he handed Cho a 20-dollar bill and Van Pelt went around the bullpen collecting money from all the other agents. He reached out his hand at the redhead.

"You might want to want to pass all that money to me, Grace. Lisbon won't be pleased to know that there was a betting pool for her love life. I'll use it for dinner, make it seem like you guys are somehow contributing to our relationship. A nice touch really."

Van Pelt hesitated and looked at her two other team mates. Rigsby shrugged and nodded while Cho had his brows furrowed. If Lisbon had found out about the betting pool they organised, they would most probably get a dressing down and get assigned to being on stakeouts for a month, all three of them. If they passed the money to Jane, they would lose all their profit. Quick cash and suffer or enjoy their job while earning some money? Best to stay on Lisbon's good side.

"Give him the money. Lisbon is mean when she's angry."

Jane pocketed the thick wad of cash, smiling at his team mates who scowled at him. He was going to buy Lisbon a feast, get her an expensive bottle of that red wine she longed for. He had to thank the team though, without the betting pool, he couldn't put the shocked yet appreciative look on her face. Their first official date was better than planned. Those times when he appeared at her doorstep with a box of pizza and a bottle of Franciscan Merlot 2005 in his hands weren't counted as official dates.

The first time they made love was during the summer. They had a day off from work and went to the beach. She loved the beach since she was young, but she just didn't have the time to go on a regular basis. Her pale skin contrasted with the dark blue sundress she had on, she had her hair up in a messy ponytail and a big smile was present on her face. They intended to have a walk along the shore, but ended up in the water, splashing water at each other. He had surrendered after the ten minute long battle, she laughed at him before pulling him underwater. That started another water fight. He had peeled the wet sundress off her. She was glowing with the light from the sunset washing over her. That evening under the stars, he showed her exactly how much he loved her.

He had moved in with her a few months after, she asked him to. They spent evening curled up on her couch, watching reruns of crime drama series or old movies on her television. She would wake up every morning in his arms and there would be blueberry pancakes waiting for her on the dining table after her bath. It was almost as though they were married, almost. Married couples didn't really talk about their dead spouses and child or try to talk their husbands out of killing a murder of said dead spouses and child. And he never really got around to asking her to marry him. Now wasn't time. Not with Red John still on the loose and currently very active.

Minelli had sent him home early. His patience for the consultant's behaviour was wearing thin, exceptionally thin today. Lisbon was hurt during a shootout that happened because of the blonde's irresponsible actions that allowed Red John to slip out of the CBI's reach. One of his agents was hurt, the Attorney General was breathing down his neck regard the lack of control on Jane. He had no choice but to order their consultant to leave the CBI building and head home, maybe go visit Lisbon in the hospital. He could go anywhere, just not here.

He went by the apartment first, planning to pick up some things that Lisbon had told him to get for her. He took two steps at a time up the stair, whistling at the same time. Digging his pockets for the keys, he thought about getting her a bunch of flowers to apologise for his stupidity earlier that day. He didn't register the keys slipping out of his loose grip, the sound of keys dropping on the floor. On the white wooden door was a note. The red smiley stood out against the white paper. Patrick Jane reached out and pulled off the note. He forced himself to read it.

"Dear Mr Jane,

Ms Lisbon has such beautiful green eyes, doesn't she? Just like your wife. It must have been the first thing you noticed about her. You must love her dearly to be able to get over your grief, however little that may be.

You know what happens to people you love, don't you, Mr Jane? "

The ever-present red smiley was there. It was mocking him; he crushed the note and rushed to his car. He couldn't lose Lisbon, not her. He sped down the roads to the hospital, ignoring the red lights and traffic police chasing after him.

He ran down the hallways, blood pounding in his ears. He ignored the protests of the people around him, he had to see Lisbon. He pushed the door to her room open, and stared at her empty bed. She was gone, she was gone. There was blood, her blood, on the sheets, a few small blots on the pillow. He slid to the ground, his legs couldn't hold him. His hands were shaking uncontrollably as he speed dialed the CBI headquarters. He had no idea who picked up, he didn't care.

"She's gone, he took her," Van Pelt, it was Van Pelt who answered the call. He heard her relaying the message to Cho and Rigsby. She told him that they on their way there.

"Wait for us, Jane. Don't do anything stupid, please."

Don't do anything stupid? He already did. He pulled Lisbon into this mess. He was the one who asked her out to dinner, he was the one who made love to her under the stars on the beach, he was the one who moved into her apartment, he was the one who got her shot in the first place. He was stupid enough to fall in love with her. He should have learnt his lesson when he found his wife and child brutally murdered. He should have known that Red John was watching his every move, should have known that Red John would do everything in his power to make him suffer. He should have known, should have learnt his lesson. It was his fault, his fault that Lisbon was somewhere else now, probably being tortured or killed. And if she died, it would be on his head. If she died, he would need more than a locked room and a psychiatrist to get him back to his feet.

Cho, Rigsby, Van Pelt and Menilli arrived approximately 5 minutes after he called them. They had brought another SCU team with them. Van Pelt volunteered to stay with him, the rest went off to do whatever they were assigned to. Questioning, finding the security tapes, searching. He just stayed on the visitor's chair next to Lisbon's empty hospital bed. He could feel Van Pelt hovering behind him, she was unsure of what to say to him.

"You don't have to say anything, Grace."

She tried to say something but the ringing of a cell phone cut her off. Jane pulled his out from his pocket and stared at the screen. Caller ID stated that it was Lisbon, he flipped his phone open and pressed it to his ear. All he could hear was labored breathing and soft whimpering.

"Lisbon? Teresa, where are you?" Van Pelt took a step closer to the consultant who held up a finger to stop her. "Teresa, say something." He strained his ears, trying to hear anything that could indicate her location.

Seconds ticked by, and instead of the sounds of breathing and whimper, laughter took over. A maniacal laughter. One that he had heard before in a cheap motel room in Tijuana, with Lisbon sitting right next to him. The laughter went on and on, then the line cut off. He stared at his phone, the photo of Teresa and him as his wallpaper. She was gone, he was left with nothing now. Red John took everything away.


	10. Never Say Never

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, or the song.

Author's note:

This one took longer than the rest! Sorry for the wait. I might not be able to update frequently now, really really sorry! The lyrics I copied for this fic are way longer than the rest. Huh. But it's the parts that I need anyway. Har har. Chapter 10, Jane/Lisbon fic, kind of sad and all. D: Enjoy! Do leave a review, thanks!

~*~

Chapter 10 – Never Say Never

Never Say Never – The Fray

_Some things we don't talk about  
Rather do without just hold a smile  
Fallen in and out of love  
The same damn problem together all the while_

_You can never say never  
While we don't know it  
Time and time again  
Younger now than we were before_

_Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go_

Minelli knew the blonde standing in front of his desk was going to be trouble. It said so in his file. Patrick Jane had a problem with authority figures; that much, he had seen. Nobody wanted him, seeing as he pissed off everyone. Complaints just kept flowing in; he was drowning in those damn complaints. So he was happy to dump the troublemaker onto someone else who he had confidence in to be able to control the guy. If not, God bless them all.

When Lisbon knocked and entered his office, he saw her stare at the whistling consultant before enquiring her purpose for being here. The only person he could trust to handle the wayward Patrick Jane has arrived. He seemed pleased to meet the petite agent, shaking hands, being polite. Time would pass soon enough, and her life would become a living hell.

Soon enough, complaints ended up on his desk. People were threatening to sue the CBI because of Jane. He called Lisbon back into his office. She came, of course, with a frown on her face and Patrick Jane trailed in behind her. She tried to explain the whole incident to him, that it was the suspect who threw the first punch. Minelli listened, he always did. He listened first, reprimand later.

"You have to keep him in line, Lisbon. It's your responsibility now," That was what he said to her.

"Oh, Lisbon! I'm your responsibility now!" Jane made it seem as though he had no idea from the beginning. She rolled her eyes, clearly irritated. After a few more words accompanied by stern looks, he let the two go.

The years went by quickly enough. Cases came and got solved, people got put behind bars. Jane never stopped his childish ways and Lisbon never said a word against him. The Red John case got pulled out from under them, dumped onto Sam Bosco. Jane had sulked the whole day, ignored any orders given, pushed her away. He blamed her, blamed her for being the one who couldn't handle him. Blamed her for nearly losing her life, blamed her for making him pull the trigger that night and killing their best lead to Red John. He became worst. Lisbon tried to keep him in line, with threats, lectures and close to even bribing him to tone it down for a while. He was acting like a child, he knew. But he didn't give a damn. Not when Red John was pulled out from under him.

She had months of suffering long lectures from Minelli and getting threats of formal reprimand if she continued to let Jane to cause uproar on every case that came their way. She snapped. When Jane had pulled his latest stunt that could have gotten the entire CBI in trouble, she just walked away from the mess. She wasn't going to clean up his mess anymore. For years, that had been her job. Jane makes a mess, she cleans up behind him. She didn't sign up for that. Lisbon stomped into Minelli's office and requested for Jane to be transferred under someone else's supervision.

He was a damaged man, that she understood. Having your family taken away from you could ruin a person. His life was destroyed by his own hands; he was drowning in self loathing and guilt. He hid behind his ever present smiles and pleasant words. She understood him for who he was, knew what he wanted. Hell, she wanted the same thing herself. The drunk driver, her father, she kept her anger in. Disciplined her anger, made it something useful.

Whatever Jane was doing, it was stupid and irresponsible. And she didn't want to be in any part of it. She didn't want to be part of the ever present grins, didn't want to see the evil lurking behind his eyes whenever he spoke of Red John, didn't want to get anymore stupid gifts of his, didn't want to feel the disappointment when she felt the cold metal of his wedding band when he held her, didn't want the tears that fell when she heard Jane whispering his dead wife's name while they had sex. She had fallen in love with the man, stupid enough to believe that something could happen. She shouldn't have loved him from the beginning anyway, so she was letting him go.

"Don't let him go, Lisbon. You're what keeping him alive. He needs you," Minelli looked at her as she stared at him, eyes wide. "I know what's going on, Teresa. Whatever you may think, he really needs you."

She looked down at her hands, unsure of what to say. Thoughts just kept running though her mind. Thoughts about Jane, thoughts about how her boss found out about her relationship with the consultant, thoughts about what to do next. Her mouth opened, she was ready to say something. She hesitated, taking a deep breath. "He might need me, but I can't have him around anymore. I'm sorry, Boss. I would like to have him transferred out of my team."

He looked down at the woman, waiting for her to change her mind, but she looked so determined. He wondered if she knew that a stray tear or two had made their way down her cheeks. Sighing, he nodded and told her he would handle it. She mumbled a 'thank you' and left.

The next morning, the team watched as the blonde stroked their boss' cheek, bent down and kissed her, before picking up the boxes from his unused desk. Lisbon had her eyes shut as the consultant walked out of the Serious Crime Unit. No one said anything. If there was anything to be shared, Lisbon would have told them. Each went back to their respective desks and Lisbon had locked herself in her office. They had work to do, with or without Patrick Jane.

As she walked out of her office that night, she ignored the empty brown leather couch in the bullpen. She had to get used to it, the lack of a lazing blonde on it. Looking down as she walked out of the CBI headquarters, she didn't see Jane standing at the main doors of the building, waiting. His arm lashed out and grabbed hold of her.

He heard the sharp intake of breath; saw the shock on her face melt into guilt and sadness when she looked him in the eye. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

She nodded, unable to say anything. Her throat had closed up. He smiled when he saw the confusion in her eyes but it didn't reach his eyes. He slid his hand down her arm. "I wanted to talk to you, so I waited for you. You are working awfully late tonight; now that I'm out of your hair, I'm sure there isn't a lot of paper work to complete."

She cleared her throat, willing her voice to work. "What do you want, Jane?"

"Nothing much. I just wanted to tell you that you can't get rid of me just by getting me transferred, Lisbon. I might not be there anymore, but I'm still in your mind like how you're in mine. You can't push away what we have, no matter how hard you try."

"What we had was nothing," She hated herself for whispering.

His smile faded. "I'm sorry for hurting you, truly. I never wanted you to get hurt, but I guess I just can't stop hurting people I love, can I?" He didn't wait for a reply and let go of her hand. "Goodnight, Teresa," He smiled once again and walked off to his car.

She watched as he faded into the darkness of the night, stopped herself from running after him. '_You decided to end it, so let him go._' Staring into the night, she sighed, wiped away the tears that threatened to flow and went to her vehicle.

She lied on her bed, lightly tracing the empty space beside her. There used to be someone there, Jane used to sleep on that side of her bed. Squeezing her eyes shut, she forced herself to get some sleep. '_Let him go, let him go._..' she drifted off to sleep with the same thought repeating in her mind. That night, she dreamt of the blonde consultant, a beautiful house and a group of blonde children running around in the yard, her hands were in his and they had matching wedding bands. Then it all faded away, replaced by the sight of Jane with looking crazed, blood on his hands and a satisfied smile on his face. She woke up covered in sweat, close to screaming. Burying her head in her hands, she told herself that it wasn't her fault if Jane was going to kill Red John; he was going to do that all along. Letting him go wasn't going to make him murder a man in cold blood. And yet, she felt that it was.


	11. Evacuate The Dancefloor

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, or the song.

Author's note:

It's a slight Jane/Lisbon fic. Which I thought up in a couple of minutes. D: Took a long time to complete though. Hope you enjoy this! Do leave a review, thanks!

~*~

Chapter 11 – Evacuate The Dancefloor

Evacuate The Dancefloor - Cascada

_Evacuate the dancefloor_

_Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound_

_Everybody in the club_

_Stop, this beat is killing me_

_Hey, come burn this place right down to the ground_

She was drunk, just a little. But it didn't matter, because no one at the bar knew her and she had the day off tomorrow. So there was no reason for her not to get drunk. The music was pounding, making her seat vibrate, and bouncing off the walls of the club. The air was thick with cigarette smoke and the scent of stale sweat. She abandoned her seat at the bar after placing a couple of bills down as payment.

She squeezed her way into the middle of the dance floor, longing to let herself loose. Her muscles were loose and limber, thanks to the amount of vodka she had consumed. She let her hips sway to the music, hands raised in the air. Bodies were pressed against her and her jeans were riding low. If they went any lower, she would have to arrest herself for indent exposure. Closing her eyes, she drowned out the noise of people, ignored the press of warm bodies around her. She had the right to forget about responsibility tonight, she needed to be alone.

Hands gripped her waist and went down to her hipbone, stopping her movements. She waited for the hands to disappear and when they didn't, she turned to meet their owner. Alcohol might have fuzzed up her brain, but there was no mistaking the identity of the man who was holding on to her in a three-piece suit. Patrick Jane was right in front of her. She stared at him, trying to think of something to say. He pulled her close and swayed her to his own slow music. At first, she tried to push him away. She wasn't drunk enough to convince herself that it was okay to be dancing with the team's consultant, not drunk enough to feel comfortable in the arms of the man who invaded her thoughts and dreams. But he held onto her tightly, and soon she gave in. Leaning into him, she embraced his body heat. How long has it been since someone held her?

They had no idea how long they were on the dance floor, holding onto each other, dancing slowly to a song no one else heard. Slowly, Jane let her go and watched her open her eyes and a smile crept on her lips. Her cheeks were flushed, from the heat or from pleasure, he didn't know. He held onto her hands. She looked so relaxed, so happy after their dance. This was one side of Lisbon he never seen. She had looked so miserable, sitting at the bar alone, downing cups after cups of vodka. When she went to dance, she simply had to join her. Bringing her right hand to his lips, he placed a kiss on her wrist before letting her go and getting lost in the crowd of bodies.

She woke up the next morning in a room she didn't recognize, next to a man whose name she didn't remember, with a vicious hangover. The only thing that surfaced in her mind was the dance she shared with Patrick Jane and the kiss he had placed on her wrist.


	12. Camaraderie of Intimacy – Cho & Lisbon

Author's notes: This was a fanmix made for Cho/Lisbon. It's up for downloads at My LJ (user: carlisle-autumn). I hope you enjoy this! Do leave a review, thanks! I might have one for Jane/Lisbon coming up soon.

* * *

**1) Lucky – Jason Mraz ft. Colbie Caillat**

_I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend__  
Lucky to have been where I have been__  
Lucky to be coming home again__  
I'm lucky we're in love in every way  
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed__  
Lucky to be coming home someday_

He was just lucky that she accepted that dinner offer. After all, it all started with that one dinner as friends. That dinner led to another, then to a series of movies. Soon they had drinks every week after a long shift, laughing and talking about things that best friends talked about. He believed that it was luck that she asked him out one day. They went to the beach nearby on one of their days off. Splashed about in the water, picked up a couple of shells, laid down under the sun. He walked her up to her apartment, thanked her for the day out. She grinned and shook her head.

"Just shut up and kiss me already."

He did.

**2) Pokerface – Lady Gaga**

_Can't read my,Can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(She's got to love nobody)  
Can't read my, Can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(She's got to love nobody)_

It was easy to tell when she was in a pisser of moods, especially when it was caused by one of Jane's stupid ideas leaving a big mess for her to clean up. A frown was forever present on her face, her voice would have an angry edge to it, her glares were aimed to kill and she would throw a little tantrum by slamming her office door. And when she was in those black moods, even Patrick Jane couldn't do anything about it, seeing as she would throw him out of her office accompanied with his little gifts of apology. On those days, she would stay late at work for an hour of two, trying to clear up all that paperwork that was due the next day on Minnelli's desk.

He tried to help out with the paperwork, because he couldn't solve the Jane problems. In fact he went on with Jane's ideas once or twice. He intercepted what he could, placed the rest of the more important one on her desk so that she wouldn't notice the slowly decreasing pile. Jane threatened to rat on him, a long enough serious stare managed to do the job of getting Jane to keep silent. But she found out anyway, after she spilled coffee all over his desk while hunting for the witness' statement for their ongoing case. She looked at him questionably with coffee soaked papers in her hand.

He just shrugged, "Just wanted to help."

She pursed her lips before nodding and walking back to her office. Jane looked at both of them, mind racing through all the possibilities. Went up to Cho during lunch to ask him about it, he denied every theory put forward. It was hard to tell when Cho was lying. If anyone had a face he had a hard time reading, it was Cho. Now, Lisbon ,on the other hand, was an open book. Maybe he'll go bug her about it. Didn't get the chance though, seeing as they got a new case which they managed to close in two days. Everything was back to normal, Lisbon was still scolding him for his stupid actions and Cho was concentrating on his work. Weird.

**3)You & Me – Lifehouse**

_'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do__  
Nothing to lose__  
And it's you and me and all other people  
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you_

They didn't kiss much, hardly held hands, never made love. But somehow, they were intimate. Almost as though they were married. Maybe they skipped the dating part and leapt straight into marriage. So when he asked her to marry him, she was surprised that he actually asked. He could just slip the ring on her finger and she would have accepted it. When she told him that, he said that traditions were a part of his upbringing. She grinned and threw her arms around him.

**4) Here Without You – Three Doors Down**

_A hundred days have made me older__  
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face__  
A thousand lies have made me colder  
And I don't think I can look at this the same  
But all the miles that separate  
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight it's only you and me_

Cops never dated cops. It was for only one reason. You never knew when a cop would be at your door to inform you that your best friend, your girlfriend, your fiancé was dead. When he saw Minelli at his doorstep, grim look on his face, he knew she was gone.

**5) Apologise – OneRepublic**

_It's too late to apologize, it's too late__  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late__  
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah  
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah_

It was tempting to hurt the blond consultant who was sitting in the interrogation room. It must have shown on his face because Rigsby asked if he was okay. He nodded and entered the room with he partner behind him. Jane looked sympathetic. Sympathy wasn't enough. He co-operated and told them everything. How Lisbon came running when she got his call, how she got killed trying to save him. He said he was sorry. But that wasn't enough. Sorry wasn't enough. Sorry couldn't bring her back to him.

**6) The Portrait – James Horner**

_[Instrumental]_

He dreaded clearing up her things from her apartment to send to her family. He was surprised to see all the little things she collected from the times they went out. Movie tickets, sand from the beach, photos that they took. He had everything else back to her family, save for that one photograph that they took on that day at the beach. Sun shining down on her, smile on her face. It was a portrait of pure bliss, and that was all he needed.


	13. 14 Song Drabbles, Jane & Lisbon

10 Songs Challenge

Rules:

1. Pick a character, pairing, fandom you like.

2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.

3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over.

4. Do ten of these and then post them.

Author's Note:

I choose Jane/Lisbon, Jisbon or Jello. Hope you enjoy these! Do leave a review, thanks! :3

Author's Note 2:

I did additional songs, because I really really had nothing to do at the time. So. Here are a total of 14 songs.

Disclaimer:

I do not own The Mentalist or any of these songs.

~*~

14 Song Drabbles.

**1. You & Me – Lifehouse**

When they were together, it was as though there was no one else around. They could be anywhere; along a crowded street, in a movie theatre, in a restaurant. She was the only one there, and he loved that fact that it was so. Her smile, her laughter, her eyes. That was all that mattered to him. And when she pulled him in for a kiss, he would forget about everything. It was just him and her.

**2. Look After You – The Fray**

She was always there. When he decided that it hurt too much to spend the day sober, when he managed to drink the day away. She was there. He would lean on her as she helped him out of her car and into her apartment when he was piss faced drunk in a bar. She would hold onto him as he cried the night away. Never once had she said 'no' to him. And when he asked her why, she would shrug and say "I'll look after you, Jane." She would smile and watch him lie back down on her bed. She would stroke his hair, just like a mother would after a child woke from a nightmare. His life was a nightmare, but she was there.

**3. Say - John Meyer**

He could tell her everything because she listened, even if she was busy. He liked that about her. All he needed was a listening ear, and she was it. He stood at her doorway, unsure of how to say what he wanted. She led him into her apartment and sat him down on her couch. She made him a cup of tea and passed it to him.

"Say what you need to say, Jane. I'm here, all ears."

He took a sip of tea and cleared his throat. "I'm in love with you, Lisbon."

**4. Try – Nelly Furtado**

She had been trying from young. To be the perfect daughter, to be the one who could fix her family, to be upholding the justice that she believed in. when she knew of Jane and his past, she had to tell herself to leave him along. _Don't try and fix him. _But time passed and she got to know him more, she couldn't help it. She tried to fix him, tried to tell him that revenge wasn't everything in life. He pushed her away. It was two steps forward, one step back from then on. She would still reach out to him and he would take her hand. When she reached out too far, he would just gentle push her away. But she just kept trying, knowing that one day she would succeed.

**5. Never Too Late – Three Days Grace**

He had left the CBI when Red John was caught. He had been too late to reach the man who ruined his life, and Lisbon already had him in cuffs. So he left without a word, no notice, no goodbyes. He sold his house, sold his car and went to Australia. The sun, the sand, the sea. He enjoyed it all. He always felt that something was missing, and it took him three years to realize that he missed Sacramento and what he had there. He took the first flight back to California. There were a few changes in the CBI. Cho got promoted, Van Pelt got married to Rigsby, Minelli had retired. Lisbon, she never changed. She was sitting in Minelli's old office, doing paperwork. He pushed the glass door open and saw the confusion and happiness on her face when she saw it was him.

"Am I too late, Teresa? To ask you for your heart."

She took him in her arms, she had missed him so much. "Better late than never. It's not too late, Jane."

**6. Here We Go Again – Demi Lovato**

She told herself not to get involved with the consultant. He was charming, sure, handsome too. He was the perfection of a man. Except that he had lost his wife and child to a serial killer. They always had friendly banters and casually flirted. Nothing much. Then he started to invade her thoughts, her dreams. He got under her skin. She tried to push it all aside; they worked together, for God's sake. But when he smiled at her or made her blush, all those fantasies came rushing back out.

**7. Syndicate – The Fray**

Her brother had perished in a fire. Occupational hazard of a firefighter. So she had to go back East for the funeral. She had no idea why she asked Jane along though. Maybe it was because she thought he could teach her how to cope with it all. They were sitting in their hotel room after the funeral when he spoke.

"You haven't lost it all, Lisbon. Your other brothers are here. Your team is here. I'm here. For you, Lisbon. All for you."

**8. Sorry – Small Mercies**

He should have cherished her. He should have, would have. But it was too late. She was gone. He let her go, let her out of his grasp. Told her that he was too damaged, too broken ,for her. Hell, he broke her heart. He was a bastard to her. He lost her to someone else and he had no right to claim her back even if he could. He blew his chance. He should have shown her how much she meant to him, given her his heart. Stubborness, that cost him Lisbon. She left him, but he knew that her heart was still with him. And that thought killed him all over again as he watched her go down church aisle.

**9. Fully Alive – Flyleaf**

He felt a need to prove that he was alive after his wife and child were killed. Needed to tell himself that he was still living. So he slept with women. A lot of women. Not for pleasure, he just needed proof. What he had with Lisbon was his proof. They didn't make love, no. All they had was angry, passionate sex. The feel of her skin, the pounding into her, the pain of her nails digging into his back. All these meant nothing to him, just proof.

**10. Ignorance – Paramore**

The team felt that both Lisbon and Jane were ignorant fools. It was clear as day that Lisbon had something for Jane, but she and him both were ignorant to that fact. Jane was too wrapped up in self-loathing and grief, so he wouldn't know love again even if it slapped him in the face. And Lisbon was too abiding to the rules to do anything about her feeling for Jane. Van Pelt would love to go up to her boss and tell her to tell the blonde how she felt about him. But it was much better to play ignorance in this case.

**E1. Closing Credits – Bolero [Moulin Rouge]**

He brought her to a carnival once. She loved the bright lights, circus clowns and the games there. He would remember certain things from his past and told her tales of the carnivals he traveled with when he was younger. The fire-eaters, the mimes, the freak-shows. She pulled him around, trying out all the games and watching al the performances. She feasted on cotton candy, occasionally feeding him some. He carried a bag of toys they had won from the games. Well, she had won. He was hopeless at the games. Being a CBI agent gave you the skill to have a close-to-perfect aim, with or without a gun. They played hide and seek in the hall of mirrors, and when he finally found her, they shared a kiss with mirrors surrounding them. He brought her to an empty field nearby and they danced under the moonlight. They spun round and round on the spinning teacups. Noise, lights, people all blurring into one. He focused on the woman in front of him. Instead of Lisbon sitting with him, he saw his wife staring back at him. Her white dress slowly getting stained with blood, tears that rolled down her cheeks were tinged with red.

He forced his eyes open. It was just a dream. He slowed his frantically beating heart, took in the sight and sound of the bullpen. It was just a dream, but he knew it meant something.

**E2. Death Is The Road To Awe – Clint Mansell**

His tears dripped onto the wooden floor as he twisted his wedding ring. He was so determined to take it off, to get over the grief and suffering. Lisbon was waiting for him in the SUV. He tried to slide it off, but his fingers always got weak. The red smiley stared down at him, mocking him. Reminding him of the guilt for causing the death of his wife and child. After he got the ring off, he was going to paint the smiley away. He swore at himself for being so useless. Red John was finally caught, finally convicted to multiple life sentences in jail. He got to see the murderer, had to get Minelli's consent. Damn near tried to hypnotize him, but Lisbon stepped in and told him that she would be keeping an eye on Jane. After countless times of trying to get answers from his nemesis, he told Lisbon to drive him to his place in Malibu, said that there was something he had to do.

He pulled his ring once more, only to have his fingers slide off. Curls up into a ball when he hears the footsteps climbing up the staircase, echoing down the corridor and into the room. Arms wrapped around him.

"It's okay, Jane. You don't have to do it now. Let's go home, all right?" Lisbon pulled him up and led him to the car. The drive back to her –their– apartment was quiet. He just sat in the car with tears still running down his face.

**E3. Lying Is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off - Panic! At The Disco**

It was against regulations, they both knew. And yet, here they were in her apartment. Tripping over fallen objects and their own feet along the way to her room. He was drunk, so was she. He was rough, tore off her shirt, struggled with her belt. Pushed her onto the bed, kissed her all over. She dragged her nails up his back, leaving trails of red marks behind. Wasn't the first time they were doing this, wasn't going to be the last time. The next morning would be them pretending nothing had happened. Lying. After all, was her second nature.

**E4. Foolish Games – Jewel**

She knew what they had was nothing. Just some casual fling. She knew he loved her. But he didn't love her enough to forsake the vengence he had for Red John. He could promise her that he would never leave her, he could. But he never did. Because he knew that she knew that he would leave. When the time came for them to get Red John, he would throw her aside and cut the man open. He would break her heart, and yet she gave it to him. They were such fools.


	14. Set The Fire To The Third Bar

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, or the song.

Author's note: Inspired by Snow Patrol's Set The Fire To The Third Bar video. It is a lovely song, and the video is not bad. :D It's a Jane/Lisbon fic, I find it kind of sad. Maybe, a little. :\ No idea. Is the idea a little to complicated? Huh. I hope you enjoy this, do leave a review, thank you! X)

~*~

Chapter 12 - Set The Fire To The Third Bar

Set The Fire To The Third Bar – Snow Patrol

_Their words mostly noises  
Ghosts with just voices  
Your words in my memory  
__Are like music to me_

_I'm miles from where you are  
,I lay down on the cold ground  
I, I pray that something picks me up  
And sets me down in your warm arms_

She entered the room and glanced into the white room behind the one-way glass, eyes following the familiar blonde man pacing about. Her room was badly lit with only one fluorescent light bulb, a small table and a orange plastic chair were all that were present. Ignoring the chair, she folded her arms and keep staring at the man. There was no need to inform anyone about her whereabouts, no need to tell the guards to inform the prisoner of his visitor. Her team knew where she was every Thursday afternoon, and the man knew that she was here. She would watch his restless form. On some days, he would be pacing around the small room like today. On other days, he would just sit on the chair provided and stare at his reflection on the glass.

He knew she was there, hiding behind the glass. Every week, precisely at 3 p.m., she would be there. She might be in another room, but he would always see her with him. Some times standing in the corner of his white cell, arms folded. On good days, she would be sitting beside him on his bed, smiling and running her fingers through his hair. On bad days, he wished he couldn't see her with her accusing eye and betrayal on her face, just staring at him.

She watched as he came closer to the glass, pressed his palm on it and whispered her name. "Lisbon, Lisbon," he kept repeating her name over and over again. She tried to ignore his voice, trying to distract herself with something, not looking at him. Every time he said her name, she felt her heart break slightly. She couldn't ignore Jane, even before he was declared clinically insane.

Giving up, she pressed her palm to the one-way glass. "I'm here," she knew he couldn't hear her, but she said it anyway. He stopped repeating her name, and just stared. It seemed as though he could really look through the window and into her eyes when all he was seeing was himself.

He clenched his fist, imagining her hand in his. He ached to touch her, but he made it impossible. He was confined to the white room. She was there, behind the glass, the only thing between them now. The clock on the wall ticked, and he was counting them.

She pulled her eyes away from the crazed blue one, glanced at the clock in his room. She was going to be late, she had been here long enough to find the spark of sanity in Jane's eyes. It was never there from the first time she visited him anyway. Told the guards that she was done, she left.

He knew she was gone once the second hand reached twelve. She would visit him for exactly fifteen minutes every time, that fifteen minutes trying to find something that he buried deep down. He went back to his hard bed and stared at the ceiling of his empty room. That spark that Lisbon was trying so hard to find came back soon enough, she was never supposed to know that his mind was still in tact. That would ruin the whole plan. Her whole plan. The plan to keep him alive after he had killed Red John. He was declared clinically insane and was locked in his cell for life, but at least he was still alive. A fact that Lisbon and he were grateful for. He would wait for next week when she came to visit. She would never stop her visits to him, she would never give up on him. Not after she put her job in jeopardy by lying to save his life.


End file.
